Ep 6: Imposter Syndrome & Self Care with Britney Campbell

Ep 6: Imposter Syndrome & Self Care with Britney Campbell

Britney Campbell is the Senior Vice President of Marketing & Public Relations at Legends Bank, where she has played an important role in launching Her Bank, a Legends brand that celebrates, honors, and supports women.

EPISODE NOTES

Britney Campbell is the Senior Vice President of Marketing & Public Relations at Legends Bank, where she has played an important role in launching Her Bank, a Legends brand that celebrates, honors, and supports women. Britney is a gifted communicator and community-builder, and she sits down with Lorilee to share her personal experiences with confronting imposter syndrome, building self-confidence, and practicing self care. The two also discuss why it’s so meaningful to meet women wherever they are when it comes to banking and financial conversations.

Highlights:

  • On Britney’s playlist: Beyonce, Kelly Clarkson, India Arie and more (check out Her Playlist)
  • Setting healthy boundaries personally and professionally
  • Understanding and navigating imposter syndrome
  • Practicing self-care (beyond bubble baths and champagne)
  • Why showing up for yourself can empower you to truly show up for others
  • One tool for our G&G toolbox

Mentioned in this episode:

Sponsored by Her-Bank.com

Ep 6 Transcript

[00:00:00] Lorilee Rager: Hey, I’m Lorilee Rager and this is Ground and Gratitude. It’s a podcast about designing the life you want, one that not only grows but also gives.

Before today’s episode I’d like to tell you about where I bank, Her Bank by Legends Bank. This episode of Ground and Gratitude is sponsored by them. Her Bank celebrates, honors, and supports women, especially entrepreneurs, by providing financial services and resources through a core team of experienced female bankers, which is so reassuring to me. Her Bank creates a bridge to help women overcome barriers when it comes to money conversations and decisions while providing women with a better banking experience. Check out Her-Bank.com to learn more. Her Bank is a brand of Legends Bank. Legends Bank is member FDIC equal housing lender.

On the show today I’m talking to my dear friend and collaborator Britney Campbell. Britney is the Senior Vice President of Marketing and Public Relations at Legends Bank. She has also played a big part in the recent launch of Her Bank, a banking brand inspired by women for women. Britney is someone who helped me a lot with boundaries, so we will be talking today about that as well as things like confronting imposter syndrome and building self-confidence.

Welcome, Britney. Thank you so much for joining me today on the Ground and Gratitude podcast.

[00:01:51] Britney Campbell: Thank you for having me. I’m so excited to be joining you today.

[00:01:56] Lorilee Rager: Well, it’s just absolutely a pleasure and honor to have you as a dear friend and, um, and I’ll preface also a client, but first a dear friend. So I really appreciate your time. All right. A little kickoff question, a little icebreaker, not to stress you out, but I do need to know. What song is on repeat on your playlist today?

[00:02:21] Britney Campbell: Uh, do I have to name just one?

[00:02:25] Lorilee Rager: No.

[00:02:26] Britney Campbell: Well, as you know, I love a playlist anyway. So I would say, um, my Her Bank playlist is probably the one that’s on repeat a lot. Um, just some really uplifting, motivating songs. So when I’m not listening to podcasts, um, I’ve got that on repeat.

[00:02:44] Lorilee Rager: So, um, what are some of those songs? I need to know. What’s the vibe of Her Bank, as you mentioned?

[00:02:53] Britney Campbell: Yeah, Beyonce, Kelly Clarkson, um, India Arie, a little Whitney Houston. Um, you know, it kinda hits several different genres and different decades and, um, you know, sort of those things that even, as, you know, helping to create this brand, you always need that little bit of inspiration to help you think through like what kind of, um, all of the creative pieces, and sometimes I need that music in the background. So I would say that that playlist was developed, uh, out of trying to get some inspiration for the brand and just a lot of those female empowerment songs that just really, really gets you going anytime. Change, mood changers.

Got you.

[00:03:38] Lorilee Rager: Ooh, nice, nice, nice phrase. Yeah, I like that very much. Well, that is a perfect playlist. We will definitely have to share that to everyone, and I love it very much. It’s everything from wanting to sing in the shower, when I’m getting ready for things, um, but it’s, it’s a great one. So that, it makes me think about going back and maybe letting our listeners know and understand a little bit about, that one of the things that, that I value the most about our friendships, uh, friendship is about the honest conversations that we have about life, about leadership, about being a woman and, um, everything that you do, which also tends a lot to be marketing related, but there’s just so much more that, that you are that really, um, I think is valuable that I wanted to make sure that our listeners helped them understand a little bit more about how much you’ve helped me through all the years, as well, as a small business owner and as a woman. And even with the Her Bank brand, being women, empowering women, and it’s just one of those things that I think you and I have accidentally lived together. And so that, that is something that I’ve wanted to make clear and let everyone know that part of the things and that I value with you, first topic that I wanted to talk about today was boundaries, because you have this power that you probably aren’t aware of that you have, that you just bring this really calm, trusted energy into a room, and I do think you’re extremely, um, very, very good at being a communicator and a, a builder of, of groups of strong people and like-minded. But I think my first encounter with you that I remember as the most positive is boundaries. So I wanted to know if you could just talk to us a little bit about your boundaries or boundaries in general.

[00:05:41] Britney Campbell: Yeah. Um, I don’t think, there’s a couple of things that I didn’t, people didn’t really talk about. So, I didn’t start really hearing people strongly talking about boundaries and the power of no, and, um, those types of things until I got in my thirties. But, um, I think in my late twenties, going into my thirties, I was so involved, I got very motivated at a very young age and my career and in community. And I was, anything people are asking me to do, um, I was getting involved and jumping in and it was, you know, um, I didn’t realize it until later that, you know, I was pulled in so many different directions and trying to be all things to all people all the time and it was exhausting. And, um, you know, kind of around that same time, there was just some things that didn’t feel like I was in alignment anymore and it just was just off, the passion just wasn’t there as much. And then, um, stepped back and started just saying, you know, really I’m replaceable, at the end of the day. People value you, but I’m really just, uh, you know, I, I serve a purpose that, you know, I was taking on much more and I care, I felt like I cared a lot more about certain things than other people did. And, and then when I started to say no, or, you know, I’m not able to give a hundred percent of myself to these things, therefore I feel like I’m taking up space that could be utilized for someone else, I just started, like, this weight just started coming off of me as far as, you know, when I was being intentional about the things that I was doing and the people I was putting myself around and starting to, you know, say no with, not to be negative, but really to give myself freedom and to respect and honor the people that were trying to ask for my time, to say, I’m not going to show up a hundred percent for you because I’m not there and I’m not going to have the time or the ability to commit. And I think that that just bleeds over into other things with relationships and you know, other things where people can start to really be energy sucks. And they don’t necessarily know they’re doing that or meaning to, but it’s like after a minute, you’re just kind of like, why do I feel so heavy and exhausted all the time? And it’s just because your, your tank is empty because you’re giving it to so many different things. And so, I think it was just sort of an organic thing that happened. And I think the more, and then that started attracting people that were either in the journey of trying to learn how to get away from people pleasing, um, and trying to figure out boundaries. You start to create that other community, like you said, of people having the same conversations and trying to figure it out. And, um, and I, and if I could say something like related to our relationship, I really do see how boundaries has translated into growth, um, you know, for personally and professionally. So I don’t necessarily have this very identifying thing. I’ve just, it just was one of those things that once I recognized how much better I felt for being more intentional and less everything to everybody and setting those boundaries, I was a lot happier.

[00:09:05] Lorilee Rager: Yeah, well, I, I totally could see that in, in the few meetings that we were on, in, or if we were on a board together, a committee or something and how we would end it kind of migrating together as we walked to our cars with heavy, deep breaths to getting to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. And, and I kind of call that synchronicity, that we, we had those conversations and then we’d have it with someone else that we just gravitated to that also just look tired and just knew they weren’t giving a hundred percent. And I loved how you said you said no because you knew you weren’t going to give that a hundred percent. But by saying no, you were saying yes to yourself and, and from a leadership professional standpoint is where it started, and then I saw how it also bled into your personal life in all the good ways by setting those really, really healthy boundaries to protect your energy and to give a hundred percent to what you did say yes to.

[00:10:05] Britney Campbell: Mhm. And you’re, like, queen of boundaries. Yeah, you’re queen of boundaries now.

[00:10:11] Lorilee Rager: I am now, thanks to you and your help. Absolutely. I know you, you quoted some of your favorite people and I know you have tons of resources cause you do, you do really do the work. You talk the talk and walk the walk, do the work. But tell me if you have any of your favorite people that you’ve read or listened to, and anything you kind of learned from them that, that you hold onto that, maybe mantras or anything?

[00:10:37] Britney Campbell: Yeah. Um, I would say probably the first time I’d really heard about boundaries and the power of boundaries was with Brene Brown. I think it was probably a Super Soul Sunday or something with Oprah Winfrey. And I was like, who is this woman? I need to know more about her. That may have been in 2013 or 14. Um, but one of her quotes is, um, “daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others”. And I think that if I looked at one of my core fears of one of those triggering things, it’s disappointing other people. Um, and you know, I lived a lot trying, you know, a lot of my life wanting to make sure everybody’s happy. I’m in a role that everybody has to see you with a certain face and a certain, you know, you have to carry yourself a certain way no matter what’s going on in your life. I mean, you could really be at a rock bottom place and you got to show up and, you know, be this person and take, you know, put the mask on some days. And, um, you know, she was kind of that first person that was talking about it being okay to be not okay. And it’s surrounding yourself with the right people who can support you and understand that you can be vulnerable with. And I think those are, I think, in pockets, those little tools, like I know you talk a lot about like your toolkit, but, um, you know, those are one of those tools and it’s in layers. Like when you can learn to set boundaries and you can start, you know, that’s, uh, that is a direct thank you to yourself, a gift to yourself and other people. But it’s also one of those things that just help you grow in vulnerability and being able to have honest conversations. And I know you talk a lot about honesty and truth telling, and I think, you know, those, all of those little pieces become what empower us and when we’re able to take that and empower someone else to do their own work and their own growth, it’s just one of those things that just, um, gets to be contagious in such a good.

[00:12:44] Lorilee Rager: Yes. Yes. Well, I totally agree. And love Renee and Oprah, which you have always, always told me about the Super Soul Sundays, which I wasn’t aware of. And until we started to talk and it was, it was, they were also saying the same things that I wanted to say, and that you were, I guess, gave me permission to say in a safe space. And then once I know, as, as busy women professionals, to be that honest and vulnerable was a really big deal and a big step. But I think, I think one of the things that, um, I’d love for you to talk a little bit more is how you, how we can have an honest conversation and ask, even if it was just planning our weeks ahead, the way we’ve grown and our growth, instead of texting, “what are you doing” or “what are you doing Friday” or “what are your plans this weekend”.

[00:13:39] Britney Campbell: Yeah, so, you know, as, um, you know, self-assured as I am, a lot of the time, um, I will say there’s definitely triggering questions of, um, “how are you”, which sounds so simple. Like why would somebody be triggered by “how are you”, which is a whole other chapter that we are not going to dive into in this episode. And so, um, but I think like, “what are you doing”, and, you know, and it’s sort of like, I think it reminds you of experiences where, you know, if you want to protect yourself and your own energy, you know how honest do you have to be with a person? Like, you know, “what are you doing”, are you asking what am I doing right now at this very second? Do you really want to know? This is a surface level, you know, whatever, but it is just one of those things that I feel like those questions to me feel so invasive. I don’t necessarily want to answer that because I want to control, like, whatever my outcome needs to be, not what your expectations are for me to answer.

[00:14:48] Lorilee Rager: Yes. That is exactly what you taught me when it comes to boundaries. Yes.

[00:14:53] Britney Campbell: Uh, so it is, it is, um, if that was a very uncomfortable, especially with very close friends, and I have a feeling that many of them will listen to this episode, and, um, so I don’t want to give away too many secrets. But at the same time it’s, um, you should learn from what we’re saying as well. Um, but it is that thing of like, I just, I want the ability to create my own schedule a lot of times because my schedule isn’t always mine because of work and other obligations. And although I do want to be social, like sometimes I just say, “I’m sorry, I just really don’t want to do that. I don’t, I love you. I love you, but I really just, I love being with my dog and I’m really into this Netflix series right now, and I’m going to cook later and that’s really what I want to do”. And, you know, I hope that I have now the group of friends that get me enough, get you enough, that just go “okay, next time, maybe”.

[00:15:56] Lorilee Rager: Absolutely. Yes, absolutely. Because there was that level of anxiety and fear I lived in with the people pleasing when I would get those types of texts and I would be like in full panic mode. And in full confession, I would vomit everything I was doing for the next four days also, and say, “but how can I help you?” So you helped me turn that around to be like, “oh, I’m not sure, what do you, what do you need” or “what’s going on” or “let me think about that”. So that’s valuable that you taught me. Um, but yes, so boundaries, I know, is a little complicated and we could talk about forever and ever and ever. Um, but that, those are, those are the first areas that you helped me with. And then another one that definitely goes together, I think at the same time, which is a really scary one, is imposter syndrome. What are your thoughts on that? Or maybe explain in your own words, if you want, about imposter syndrome.

[00:16:59] Britney Campbell: Sure. Well, if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t ever hear that term until 2020. And, um, you know, for, um, those that don’t know anything about my life, um, I moved to Nashville in 2019 after, you know, 39 years of living in my hometown. But it was just like, I got settled for a few months and then bam, COVID. So, uh, it’s just been a very interesting timeline, um, to be in a new space and trying to create community and these con, this community of women in particular, that I started to find myself in and having conversations with. I just kept hearing this term and I even had to Google it because I was like, I don’t want to use it out of context and I want to be sure that I’m understanding what other people are saying, because it sounded like I could have. Um, but in essence to me, imposter syndrome is just what, um, internalized things that we feel when we don’t feel like we’re enough and that we are being an imposter in the role that we’re in, because for some reason we don’t feel like we deserve that and that everybody else is going to see us as a fraud. Um, And definitely once I understood what that meant, I was like, “Ooh, there’s a term for that”. I have felt that multiple times in my career, um, and in my life, and, um, I think it’s interesting that women, that’s really where I was hearing this in particular was with women. And so I do find it interesting that that is a very common feeling. And in some of the books that I’ve read in the last, like six to 12 months, uh, especially those that are given some autobiographical things, they talk about imposter syndrome. So, you know, your Oprah’s, you know, all of these people we talk about, I’m sure all kind of go through it in their own ways. So I just, I find that very interesting.

[00:18:59] Lorilee Rager: Yes, for sure. Well, the word fraud is a really scary word and it’s a really, um, negative and it, just saying it kind of hurts. And it’s, it’s trying to figure out, I think, am I even qualified to say what I’m saying, to do what I’m doing. And this other kind of trap that I think connects to imposter syndrome, uh, is this comparison, you see someone else doing what maybe you desire to do, and they’re, oh, my gosh, they’re doing it better, or their pictures look prettier or is, does that, does that ring a bell or resonate?

[00:19:41] Britney Campbell: That hits me at my core, very deeply. Um, I think all of those things and, and, you know, imposter syndrome, I think at its core is the, um, comparison that is so crippling that we tend to do to ourselves. Um, and again, it’s like, you know, I don’t have, you know, I’m not qualified or people aren’t going to think I’m qualified. Um, you know, for me being in a bank, there’s certain expectations and certain, um, you know, stereotypes about, I think what I’m expected to be or say or where my expertise lies, and I’m probably not that in a lot of ways. And that’s been very challenging because I don’t necessarily show up as a banker and, um, my conversations, you know, honestly, aren’t really related to finance and money. It’s really more, you know, mindset and, um, a lot of other things related to the under, the things underneath our behavior of all of those things that relate to financial decisions that we have to make. And, um, you know, so I think for me, especially with this brand and how quickly things have evolved, um, I think any time you level up or you set new goals for yourself too, I think we’re all faced with that question of, “am I prepared for the journey that I’m about to go on?” Um, and I know for you like taking, you know, turning 40 and then taking on grad school and being a mom and, you know, a lot of the things that you have really pushed boundaries, um, I, I would be curious to see if those, like, all of that kind of came up for you too, along the way.

[00:21:30] Lorilee Rager: Right. That’s exactly why these two topics in particular were really important because in this journey of being a mom and an entrepreneur and the passion of, of trying to become a professor and all of that, finances came up and people think, oh, she’s an entrepreneur, she’s running a successful business, she’s got all of her shit together, I bet she’s got spreadsheets out the wazoo and I don’t even have Excel in my computer, is the truth. So here I am, you talk about imposter syndrome. And then I meet you many years ago and I’m so admiring what you’ve built from just a lifestyle and, and confidence level. And then I want to also bank where you work, because I see how amazing, you know, the customer service is and how kind everyone is. And I’m like, “Ooh, these people might know that I don’t have Excel on my computer”, but I’ve never been that honest with a banker, ever. And yeah.

[00:22:37] Britney Campbell: It’s like getting naked.

[00:22:39] Lorilee Rager: Basically. It’s like going to the doctor.

[00:22:42] Britney Campbell: Well, you took your own advice because, this will always stick with me because, you know, we talked about, um, when we were going to talk about switching agencies and starting to work with Thrive, you’re like, “you know, it’s like, I tell my clients, you know, you don’t do your own dentists, you know, your dental work, you don’t do your own doctor’s appointments, you know, so you have to have all these people to make sure, you know, everything about you is functioning and working for the greater good”. And, um, but then you had to flip that same advice on yourself when it came to having us as a resource, um, for you and your business. And so, um, I think that’s sometimes very interesting because there’s a lot of things that we can say out to others, um, and it comes so easily to try to help others and fix other people and you’re like, deep down those are my issues too, that I, you know, sometimes don’t take my own advice.

[00:23:41] Lorilee Rager: Absolutely. And I do want you to make, uh, to explain the Her Bank, a little bit, just the onboarding welcoming process, because that’s the process we went through, I think from a friendship level before Her Bank became what she is today. But it wasn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t walk into a bank and get handed a brochure. That’s not how we started our banking relationship. And this is getting real and honest about, you know, no Excel on my computer, and, and, but I’d love for you to tell kind of how you got started.

[00:24:16] Britney Campbell: Yes. Um, I think for me was, you know, Her Bank was very much grounded in things that we are, you know, I already knew that we as Legends Bank did very well. Meaning that I always had partnered, I was not again, not the banker, so I’m not going to be the one advising you on all of the things related to your finances. So I partner very well with those who do. Um, I’m more of a connector, um, in that way, and so, you know, took that and, and actually put it into practice with people like yourself, who I was like, you know, she, her office is literally right here. She’s back to back meetings. She doesn’t really have time to come to the bank. If we could come to her or find a neutral spot, she’s got to eat at some point, so maybe we can take her to lunch or do something like that to really save her time, get her in, uh, you know, everybody being a lot more relaxed to be able to have a conversation just opens as doors so that when you do have to be more vulnerable and strip down the layers of the things that maybe don’t feel comfortable talking about, um, you know, was really me organically, um, you know, had been doing that for a while before the brand concept came about. Um, 2020 being the interesting year that it was, I think it drove a lot more conversations about money and finances, because I think everybody was on an even playing field. Like there was a lot of uncertainty, a lot of fear, um, especially with the women entrepreneurs, because let’s be honest, um in a lot of ways, women are not only running the business, they’re running the household too. There’s a lot of dynamics there. And so for women being protectors and nurturers, I started just hearing different levels of vulnerability in those conversations and being the kind of person that I am, I just really liked to connect and listen and take that in to say, you know, where can Legends be that bridge and support and, and fill in where I’m hearing these concerns where they’re not able to get ahold of their banker and they aren’t getting the questions, or they’re not spending the time talking to them and helping to really put them at ease as best as they can under the circumstances. And so, I mean, you know, literally for having these raw, honest conversations, my first conversation was with my girls, Casey and Amelia, who are now really the part of the core team of the brand and Sabrina trying to hit those different angles, like if we were to do something, I want to think about different sides of the banking experience. And then my next call was with you to say, “hey, not only are you going to be my branding, um, sounding board for this project, but you are also a female, an entrepreneur, a mother, you know, somebody that is making multiple layers of financial decisions. How does this speak to you? And like, how do you think we can do this?” So, you know, really the partnership and the listening and the trying to figure out how to make something very relevant and speak to women, not just directly about finances, but to really connect to them holistically and, you know, lifestyle and just different levels of that, to say, you know, we want to be this resource and then walking you through a slightly different process, something that’s non-traditional and also where you don’t have to come to the bank and we make you sort of the branch giving you the digital tools and the technology to, to do your banking from wherever you need to do that from, whether it’s the office or your home office, or just at home while you’re in your, pajamas, um, trying to, you know, multitask with the kids. So anyways, that’s really kind of the essence of it. Um, and here we are today.

[00:28:12] Lorilee Rager: Yeah, that’s right. Well, I know that, that, you know, speaking of you, Casey and Amelia and the team, which are all people I’ve worked with, it was one of those things that, what works so well is once, once I got over the imposter syndrome and the comparison of other business owners, and, and overcame my fears to be just honest, it was, oh, well, “I’ll show you how to open Excel”, shoulder to shoulder. And here’s how you fill out the financial statement. And here’s what this means. And I don’t know what HELOC is. And I mean, I was just so terrified to say those words out loud, but because I did have this incredible relationship with my bankers, um, that answer any and every question, that don’t make me feel stupid about any question, and everything, you know, as, as a entrepreneur, you don’t necessarily know everything about payroll and, and all that, or I could text one of them and say, “oh, hey, I’ve got a limit on my mobile deposit, but I do this specific thing on the first and the 15th and I need this amount on this day”. They’re like, “no problem, it’s fixed, it’s done”. And I never had to go in the bank. That was all during COVID. Um, so it was just, there was so much that, that I learned just from relationships and friendships and boundaries and imposter syndrome, and those are not words you normally use when you say banking.

[00:29:43] Britney Campbell: No, they’re not. But you know, look at it like, you know, Tommy, our CEO, is been in banking for 30 something years and he is so smart and he knows all of those banking acronyms, and he knows all of those things. He does, I mean, we’re going to start talking about search engine optimization, so you start throwing out your, your SEO, PPC, all of those things that you guys talk and you can spit it out and you know, it makes, you know, some of us very uncomfortable because, you know, um, that’s your world, not ours. And so it’s sort of that same thing, it’s just flipped a little bit. But, um, you know, we say, you know, for all of those customers that we’re working with, it’s like, you do what you do so well, we don’t know your world, so we don’t expect you to know ours, but we’re here to kind of work with each other to help us learn, um, so we can work better together.

[00:30:41] Lorilee Rager: Yeah. But shoulder to shoulder level, high level approach versus standing behind a clipboard or looking, you know, down is, is just, you really broke the mold on that old, um, thought process, I would say. So do you have any tips on imposter syndrome maybe to share with our listeners on how to overcome it?

[00:31:03] Britney Campbell: Well, I think it’s waves because I would say, you know, am I better about acknowledging it and I think that’s probably the first thing is just being aware of when those things are like coming up, um, and those feelings of I’m not enough and don’t feel qualified. It’s like, I, I think we both shared that we call those scaries. Like, these are the things I’m fearing. It doesn’t mean that they’re real. Um, you know, it’s like thinking jaws lives in the swimming pool. I’m very terrified of that as a child, but it didn’t actually, wasn’t actually something to be very scared about. Um, it is, um, I said think awareness, one. I think sometimes having conversations with trusted people to have like you and Casey, there’s just certain ones that y’all will be honest with me, but you also know how to pull me out of that, like, sort of, you know, having some encouraging things to say or asking the right kind of questions to talk through those things. I think talking and being honest about sometimes we’re spiraling in self doubt and, you know, going through the comparison things, it’s having those trusted people. Um, and then when those people aren’t around, sometimes we just have to do the work by ourselves. So, um, you are such a, um, great resource for talking about morning pages and why journaling is so important, um, for, you know, dumping those racing thoughts and that craziness. But I do think that if you can take time to really write down your feelings and process them on paper, I think there’s a lot of power in that as well, just to be able to walk yourself through it. Like, sometimes it’s like when you say it out loud you’re like, ugh, how it was going on in my head and the narrative that I saw myself, like when I actually say it out loud, like that’s actually, you know, not, not the truth, so.

[00:32:59] Lorilee Rager: Mm, yes. So good. I love that. That’s one of the things in my recovery, they always say too, is watch the stories you tell yourself. Because you can, you can, can really talk pretty ugly to yourself. So I think those are great, great tips for overcoming it. So, well, so the last thing I was really interested in that I also, again, admire very much about you, and, is how you approach self care. And I am not talking champagne and brunches and all that, but the act of it, which is, I know it’s a buzzword and all that, but, but you, you do seem to, in all that you do with your very, very high level, intense job and all of your communication skills and relationship building, all of your gifts, I know have to be exhausting. So I wanted to talk a little bit about you, you explain a little bit more about how you practice self-care. That, I think, would be helpful.

[00:34:03] Britney Campbell: Oh well I think, you know, it’s everything from having a sweet little Frenchie dog and just being able to spend time at home with her, which is just part of rest and relaxation and just spending some downtime alone without like kind of, you know, being able to turn the noise down. Um, and you know, doing a sauna or taking a nap, um, there’s just a lot of things for me that, you know, I think, like you say, go beyond the, you know, Sunday funday, brunch, champagne, you know, um, you know, having the glass of wine at night, which I know a lot of, um, women are maybe listening to like, yeah, that is my self care. And, you know, I think for, I think for each of us, that’ll, it can look very different, but for me, um, life, a lot of the times it’s very noisy between having to keep up with what’s happening on social media, keeping up with what’s happening socially out in the world and the things I feel like I need to be a part of and, um, and want to be a part of, and then, you know, the distractions at work and the things that you’re responsible for plus, you know, trying to manage your relationships with your friends, your coworkers, your family, um, all of that gets very, uh, noisy, especially when all of those things are all happening, uh, kind of around the same time. So for me, weekends are pretty sacred. I really try not to make a ton of plans on the weekends if I don’t have to so that I can, like I said before, you know, sometimes my schedule is not my own and, you know, to be able to, to make things for myself. And, um, I love a good podcast, you know, while I’m cleaning or cooking or doing some things where I can, you know. I think, you know, I think you get fueled a lot of ways. I think you can get fueled energetically by the people around you, I think you can get fueled from the food that you eat, and I think you can get fueled from the things that you’re listening to. And so for me, like a Super Soul Sunday, or Brene Brown or Eckhart Tolle or something like that, for me, it’s just, um, takes that weight off. And also I’m always learning in the process. Like I feel like those kind of podcasts that 30, 45 minutes, now I do love some true crime also and indulge in things that are not that heavy. I think good laughter and having friends like yourself that you can just totally let go with and laugh and share stories and, and find the funny parts of like the really shitty moments and, um, you know, it’s like, I think we jokingly said, like, I’m not real, i, I, I, I’m not really that funny, I just have childhood trauma.

[00:36:57] Lorilee Rager: Exactly, yes.

[00:36:59] Britney Campbell: Just being able to essentially turn the negatives into positives. But anyway, that was a very long answer about self care. But I think, like I said, it’s just, it depends on what you need at the time that you, you know, you need to take extra care of yourself, so.

I totally

[00:37:18] Lorilee Rager: agree with that. Humor is a great, great way. Laughing is, is a very, very healthy form to, to cope, I think as well. And it, it was one of those things, you know, even when I opened accounts with you all many, many years ago, you brought, my thank you gift was not a Crock-Pot, it was not a toolbox, or whatever. It was a basket full of my favorite coffee and soaking epsom salt, eucalyptus, you know, foot rubs. And I was like, I have never gotten all of these wonderful things from a banker before. And, you know, I thought I’m going to take a bath. I mean, I haven’t done that in years and really, it just was one of those wonderful ways. I think we also connected just to understand, oh, that’s what you do for self-care, which, which really appealed to me as life just got crazy and anxiety was all over the place, and so many tasks were all over the place and, and the ways that you practice rest and, and boundaries and all of that, um, I really, really admired.

[00:38:28] Britney Campbell: Well, you’re doing it. And you know, I’m really proud of you. Um, you know, I, I think I’m still very much a work in progress to try to, I think it’s just a lot of plates to have to spin, to think about how you need to show up for yourself and other people. But I do wholeheartedly believe that, you know, you have to show up for yourself first, before you can properly show up for others. And, uh, that concept didn’t really, you know, wasn’t in my thought process and how I felt about things several years ago, but I think, you know, as we get older and you go through different life experiences and, um, you know, maturity, you kind of start to see, you know, you value, your value system is a little bit different. And for me, like flipping that saying, you know, I do care about these people in my life and I care about my work and I care about all these things that are happening, but if I don’t take care of me, number one, then you know, I’m not able to show up and be the best person in all of the other ways that I’m supposed to show up.

[00:39:36] Lorilee Rager: Yes. Well, I think you’re a very strong example because look at all that you were doing during a pandemic, moving to Nashville, getting that sweet puppy, and being a VP of a bank. And you added to your plate, the Her Bank, when you didn’t even probably realize you had the hours in the day.

[00:39:57] Britney Campbell: Well, I think, you know this better, um, than just about anybody, that when sometimes fires up inside of you, like, I could feel it in my belly that I was ready for something different when, um, when I, before I moved to Nashville. There was just like, I want to do more, I just don’t want to do it here. And it’s nothing against the community that has been so good to me and, and, and I’ve really dedicated a lot of time, um, and energy to, I just was ready for something different and inside I knew that. Um, and I think that while that was really scary, stepping into fear and saying, you know, again, that scary, it’s like, is it a real fear or is it just me, you know, and working through that has opened up so many doors and so many other opportunities that I would have never had had I not taken that, those leaps of faith. And, um, same thing with the concept of Her Bank. It’s just, you know, those opportunities, and then you take that next step and you take that next step, and then all of a sudden you’re like, I never knew what it felt like to fulfill a purpose or to feel like I’m in alignment with my true self until all of this kind of sparked. And you just, the hours don’t matter so much. I’ve lost, um, um, you know, I lost a lot of sleep with a lot of thoughts with notebooks by the bed, um, a lot of weekends because I do try to spend, you know, more time alone, um, you know, was working on it. And I think when that happens, you, you, you dedicate the time, even though in any other realm, it would be so exhausting and, and just mind blowing, like how much, you know, that would weigh on someone. It was, it’s been the most exciting thing I’ve ever done in my life. Um, I wake up with a different energy every day. Um, and to be on that same journey with you going through these things and also seeing some of my other friends and things that are happening in their lives, taking bad circumstances, whether it be a divorce or, um, you know, moving or doing anything else, but really, you know, making the best and also starting new chapters of their lives, which can be so scary, um, all at the same time has just been, I don’t know, like my life isn’t exactly the way that I would want it to be at this very moment, but it’s pretty, pretty close.

[00:42:37] Lorilee Rager: Right, right. That’s, that’s, that’s beautiful. You know how they say, you know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plan.

[00:42:45] Britney Campbell: Exactly.

[00:42:46] Lorilee Rager: I think you did a beautiful job of really manifesting this and listening to your own, just passion for purpose. And you, you kept running into the same, like you said, at the beginning of this, um, conversations and the same women needing support. And you just, instead of ignoring it and turning away from it, you, you, you built something for it. So it’s pretty amazing to me, I think so. Um, is there anything else that you’d like to share with us, um, today about everything from all these fun, fun topics, boundaries, imposter syndrome, and self care.

[00:43:33] Britney Campbell: Oh, I don’t know. I think, you know, I think one thing that’s not said enough is that 40’s are pretty awesome. I think, you want to talk about imposter syndrome in comparison and, you know, really, I thought, you know, I would be, you know, it’s really hard sometimes, especially when you start seeing so many younger people and entrepreneurs and doing all of these things and they’re so like savvy on the TikTok and, and the Reels and I’m going, I just can’t, I don’t know. I need someone to sit with me and go through this. And I really think that collaboration over competition is probably the best motto that, you know, you can have. And I, from a very young age, loved partnering with people that were in a different generation than me, um, and really learning from that because they’re learning from me too. And, um, you know, just being, and now, like, I mean, I’m for, early forties, you know what I’m saying? So we’re not like really far into it, but I think what has happened in this, like kind of two year span at this age has just been like, I don’t know, I, there’s a lot of people saying like, well, if I could tell my former self, like all of these things, but I really liked where, I like where I’m at right at this time, I wouldn’t trade that for being, you know, 28. Maybe 35, but definitely not in my 20’s.

[00:45:05] Lorilee Rager: Same, same. I understand. And I do, I think you’ve mentioned different generations, I totally agree. I think from, from the elders, you know, I’m talking 50 year old to 70 or 80 year olds that what they can teach us and have taught us as much as we both, I know, love our grandparents and really value how they grew up and what they did, to also grounding ourselves around women our own age to sh also sharing that with the younger generations and what they can teach us. So, yeah. Yeah, that’s really, really valuable and important, for sure, for sure. Well, good. Well, just to wrap up today, I wanted to ask one last question and that would be what would you leave in our Ground and Gratitude toolbox for others that maybe would help them get grounded or anything that gives, helps give you gratitude or gets you through the hard spots?

[00:46:00] Britney Campbell: I would say grace. Cause you’re already covered on the gratitude thing. But I would say grace, just because, um, on the journey to just getting better, you’re just always going to run into circumstances that will absolutely crush you sometimes, whether it be a family situation or a relationship or work. Um, and just to constantly give yourself grace to just move forward and always stay on that journey to continue to learn and be more self-aware and, um, you know, have that gratitude for the things that are happening, even if they’re not working in your favor, there’s a reason, and give yourself grace in the process.

[00:46:44] Lorilee Rager: I love it, grace, absolutely. Thank you so much for being with me today. I really appreciate it Brit.

[00:46:52] Britney Campbell: Thank you Lorilee. I’m so proud of you. I can’t even stand it.

[00:46:58] Lorilee Rager: Thanks. Ditto.

Thank you again Britney Campbell for having such an honest conversation with me about balancing your life, work, and self care. Thank you for tuning into Ground and Gratitude. You can find previous episodes and more info about the show at GroundAndGratitude.com. Be sure and join me next time for some honest conversations exploring what it really means to truly live a life grounded in gratitude.

Ground and Gratitude is produced by the amazing Kelly Drake and AO McClain LLC.